Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the disease.
"There's an element of facing the future and hesitating to really process that at the present time," he commented.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's going. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his present welfare, his family and making preparations for when the condition deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's shock or maybe I handle situations in another way, and after I have the facts, it's easier," he continued.
Initial Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after noticing some weakness in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the problem, a set of scans indicated nerve cells in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're understandably quite moved about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't feel ill. I don't feel poorly
"My indications are very minor. I have a bit of muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I remain competent to accomplishing all activities. And with luck that will continue for as long as is attainable."
Disease Advancement
MND can progress swiftly.
As per the charity MND Association, the illness kills a one-third of people within a twelve months and more than half within 24 months of detection, as swallowing and respiration become more difficult.
Treatment can only delay deterioration.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's the grief around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the settee in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and began licking the drops off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody stated the emphasis was remaining in the now.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be extremely strongly focused on just welcoming and appreciating each moment now," he said.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very lucky that the sole choice I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much period with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those times back."
Player Connection
Top-level sportspeople are disproportionately impacted by MND, with studies suggesting the incidence of the disease is up to six times elevated than in the wider community.
It is considered that by restricting the oxygen available and creating injury to neural pathways, regular, strenuous exercise can activate the illness in those already vulnerable.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who won 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his courageous, persistent style to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground scuffle with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a practice gear and commenced engaging in physical contacts.
After appearing as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the set piece in the critical phase of play, establishing a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the game-deciding drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has already notified Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a couple of other former colleagues about his condition, but the rest will be discovering his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the present, just having that sort of affection and acceptance that people are available is the crucial thing," he said.
"Rugby is such a excellent community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your passion your profession, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Achieving this for so long a time with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will desire to assist in any way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
